Hope - MIA

I had been crushed so badly that I had lost all hope; it was gone. Does this sound familiar? You might wonder how this depletion happened. I really can’t give you an exact day. It was more like it slipped away little-by-little. With each loss from the many rejections I endured throughout the years, it faded away. Sadly, this repetition of rejections was the only consistent thing in my life.

I didn't realize that hope was so important to possess. Looking at it from a Biblical point of view, everyone needs hope - we have to have it. If we don’t, we aren’t able to get into faith. Without faith, it’s tough to receive anything from God, period. While distraught, knowing I needed to get it back, I set out on a quest to find hope again. So, where do you find hope? Hum... scratching my head while I stumbled around the house wondering where I had left my hope; like it was misplaced car keys.

Apparently, at that time, my hope wasn’t placed in the Lord. And that was precisely the only place it should have been. It seemed there was still a place within me that I thought God wasn’t with me. I think this was due to the continuance of the rejections. Because surely, if He would have been with me, they would have stopped. As you can see, my thought process wasn't right. I hadn’t separated that people will always let me down, but God never will. Once I recognize the difference between the two everything started shifting for the better.

Out of my frustration of trying to figure out how to get hope back, I headed to the mall. Shopping, of course! Isn’t that what everyone does to try to escape weighty subjects such as hopelessness? A little retail therapy of mindless shopping always helps my emotions - not the pocketbook so much though. I would love to say that finding hope is as quick as picking out a new pair of shoes. It's usually not, until this time. During this shopping excursion, God met me.

I walked into my favorite department store with not a thought of looking for hope. All of a sudden, my eye spotted this shirt, and it was on clearance! You’re not going to believe this, but on the front of it in great big letters, it said HOPE! It was the last one, in my favorite color. And, Glory to God, in my size too! Without a doubt, God was giving me a nudge. He might as well have said, “Girl, you need to place your hope in Me because I’m doing a thing in your life - I'm healing you right NOW!” HOPE was mine! I grabbed it up and headed to the checkout line.

I love this shirt. What it gave me was a visual affirmation of God moving in my life. After I got home, I hung it in a perfect spot where I could see it. Each time I walked by I focused on it and began thanking God for resurrecting hope within me. As I meditated on having my hope in the Lord, God began cultivating life and I found myself dreaming once more. Hope was beginning to grow.

For me, dashed hope had happened from delays that continued to come. Proverbs 13:12 ESV says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” The good news is - Jesus is the tree of life! He’s the only One that heals the sickness of the heart. If you've ever had deferred hope all you have to do is ask Him to heal you. I'm here to tell you that He will answer and fill your heart with renewed hope. This hope is life!

A few years later, my Mom passed away. My hope was tested since her passing was unexpected. Once more I felt all alone. On the night of her passing as I went to bed, I heard the Lord tell me to anchor my hope in Him. It is easy to unknowingly place hope in family members, friends, pets, jobs, material items, organizations, you name it. Mom had become my support while going through cancer and at this point, I couldn't imagine life without her. I prayed and put my hope back in the Lord. Once I made that shift, hopelessness left.

Healing Scriptures for Cancer

          This document is a companion to my book, "Cancer-Free, Challenge the Odds by Fighting Spiritually - Caleb's Story" by Kathy A. Crofford, found on Amazon.com.  

          When standing on this promise it’s like picking one of the enormously large, ripe grapes from the Eshcol Valley. It’s partaking in that Promised harvest of a healthy, vibrant life. 

• My light will break forth as the morning and my health will spring forth speedily. Isaiah 58:8

• Heal me of Cancer, O Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved, You are my praise! Jeremiah 17:14

• I decree that I live by faith and not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

• The sovereign Lord is my source of strength. He gives me the agility of a deer; He enables me to negotiate the rugged terrain of Cancer. Habakkuk 3:19

• Thank You for leaving me with a gift – the gift of a peaceful mind and heart. And the peace You give is a gift the world cannot give me. So I won’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

• When I worried about many things, Your assuring words soothed my soul. Psalm 94:19

• Lord, thank You for restoring the years that Cancer has robbed. Joel 2:25

• When I go through deep waters, God is with me. When I go through a river of difficulty, I will not drown. Isaiah 43:2

• When I walk through the fire of chemotherapy and radiation, I will not be burned up; the flames will not consume me. Isaiah 43:2

• I won’t even smell like smoke! Daniel 3:27

• Cancer surrounded me and did its best to kill me, but in the name of the He rescued me. Psalm 118:13

• God says, Don’t be afraid, because I’m with you; don’t be anxious, because I am your God. I keep on strengthening you; I’m truly helping you. I’m surely upholding you will my victorious right hand. For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand, who says to you, “Don’t be afraid. I’ll help you.” Isaiah 41:10 & 13

• I will not die: instead, I will live to tell what the Lord has done. Psalm 118:17

• I thank You for answering my prayer and giving me victory over this disease! Psalm 118:21

• God covers me with His feathers. He shelters me with His wings. His faithful promises are my armor and protection as I walk through this. Psalm 91:4

• Arise, Sun of Righteousness with healing in Your wings because I fear Your name, Lord. And I will go out and leap like calves released from their stalls. Malachi 4:2

• God is within me, and I will not fall or be shaken. Psalm 46:5

• I will be strong and brave! I won’t be afraid or panic, for the Lord God is with me in this Cancer battle. Joshua 1:9

• But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength. 2 Timothy 4:17

• My child grew up healthy and strong. Luke 4:20

• I prayed for this child, and the Lord granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

• God’s Words bring life to me and healing to my whole body. Proverbs 4:22

• God says that He will restore my health and I will live! Think of it – I am already healed! Isaiah 38:16

• God has given me back my health and healed my wounds. Jeremiah 30:17

• But the Lord is on my side like a terrifying warrior. That is why Cancer can’t win - it cannot succeed. Jeremiah 20:11

• My body is healed of Cancer, and my bones have nourishment. Proverbs 3:8

• I will have a long life! Good health for my household! And, good health to all my future generations! 1 Samuel 25:6

• O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You restored my health. Psalm 30:2

• No evil will conquer me; no plague of Cancer will come near my home. Psalm 91:10

• Cancer will not return a second time. Nahum 1:9

• God has great plans for me, plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a wonderful future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

• My joyful heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

• Behold, the Lord has caused breath to enter into me and I will live. He has put His Spirit in me and I shall live. Ezekiel 37:5 & 14

• The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy; Jesus has come that I will have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

• All things are possible if I believe. Mark 9:23

• He had delivered me from death. I have set my hope that He will continue to deliver me. 2 Corinthians 1:10

• God has healed my sickness. Luke 9:11

• Because of my faith, it will happen. I am whole! Matthew 9:29

• Jesus has healed me of every kind of disease and sickness including Cancer. Matthew 4:23

• It is well with me and I will live long on this earth. Ephesians 6:3

• By Jesus’ stripes, I am healed. 1 Peter 2:24

• I am prospering and in health because my soul has prospered. 3 John 2

• And if I take chemotherapy, it will not hurt me. Mark 16:18

• God healed my broken heart and bound up my wounds. Psalm 147:3

• The Lord has healed me. Exodus 15:26

• God sent His Word and healed me and delivered me from all my diseases and destructions. Psalm 107:20

• God turned the intended curse into a blessing for me, because He loves me. Deuteronomy 23:5

• God has delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling. Psalm 116:8

• I seek God and I live. Amos 5:4

• Whatever I ask for in prayer, I believe that I receive it, and what I asked for is mine. Mark 11:24

• I enjoy good health. Everything goes well with me. 3 John 1:2

• The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead now lives in me. That very same Spirit will heal my physical body of Cancer. Romans 8:11

• And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

• Jesus was wounded for my transgressions and bruised for my sin. The chastisement for my peace was put on Him and by His stripes, I am healed! Isaiah 53:5

• I obey the Lord. He calls me His child. He asks me to pay attention to His Word and listen to what He has to say. I do not let His Word depart from my eyes. I keep His Word in my heart because I know that it is life to my spirit and health to my body. Proverbs 4:20-22

• He has taken sickness out of my midst. Exodus 23:25

• Like Hezekiah, I walk before God in truth and with a perfect heart, doing what is right in His sight. I will use medicine as needed and the Lord will cause me to recover. 2 Kings 20:1-11

• Through faith in the name of Jesus, I will be strong! I will have perfect soundness! Acts 3:16

• I am marvelously helped until I am strong. 2 Chronicles 26:15

• I am blessed because I believe the Lord would fulfill his promises to me! Luke 1:45

• He covers me with His feathers and under His wing I find refuge. Psalm 91:4

• But the Lord is faithful to me, and He will strengthen me and protect me from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

• He delivered me from my strong enemy of Cancer, and from that which hated me: for they were too strong for me. Psalm 18:17

• How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God! I can’t even count them, they outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, You are still with me. Psalm 139:17-18

• I will not be afraid, for You are with me, I won’t be discouraged, for You are my God. I will be strengthened and You will help me. I will be held by Your victorious right hand, Lord. Isaiah 41:10

• I am called by Your name and I humble myself and pray and seek Your face and I turn from my wicked ways. Lord, I know You hear me from heaven, and forgive my sin and heal me. 2 Chronicles 7:14

• I will bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless Your Holy Name! I bless the Lord, O my soul and I do not forget all of your benefits. Who forgives all my iniquities, who heals all my diseases (Cancer.) Who redeems my life from destruction. Who crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercies. Psalm 103:1-4

To keep a Cancer-free focus - plan a Cancer-free party - My Ah-maz-ing Cancer-Free Party Planner can be purchased on Amazon at  https://www.amazon.com/My-Ah-maz-ing-Cancer-Free-Party-Planner-ebook/dp/B0855KFKFK/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=My+Ah-maz-ing+Cancer-Free+Party+Planner+Kathy+A.+Crofford&qid=1589483675&sr=8-1

Promised Land

         This is an explanation of what the Promised Land is that’s referenced in my book, Cancer-Free! How to Challenge the Odds by Fighting Spiritually - Caleb's Story. This book is based on the Old Testament story of Joshua's faithful companion, Caleb. It's his example of how to fight the Giant and receive the "Promised Land," promises. You can currently find it available on Amazon.

        In a nutshell, the definition of a Promised Land (for this book) is how to attain your promise for defeating the Giant (Cancer) and living a healed, abundant life. It’s a land that's overflowing with continual blessings.

        Speaking of blessings, let me bless you with an encouraging word about the Promised Land of Health. This land is already yours - right now. Yes, that’s right, you can be made whole - now! God desires for you to be healed. Plus, He says, “I will bring it to pass.”

        But, first, it’s crucial to know what the promises are in your Promised Land of perfect health. Knowing what’s promised will help you stand firm against the ugly symptoms that try to raise their prideful heads. These promises are a foundation to stand on by faith. 

        If a foundation isn't laid down first, then all we get done is wishing for a miracle. This is quite a bit different than wishing on a star. Believe me, foremost, we always stay in hope and faith. Hope is imperative to have faith. It's faith that grabs what you believe for well in advance and continues proactively until it's received. Wishing only grabs ahold of nothing and is passive when it comes to receiving. It’s almost like Que será, será, whatever will be, will be; the future’s not ours to see - which is a LIE.

         You'll also need to know how to receive the fullness of this promised healed land. Attaining your healing will be especially hard if you don’t know what your promises are or how to access them.  Understanding all of these foundations will set your focus onto your promises much better, which in turn will allow you to be able to anticipate that you're going to be healed - if you’re not already healed.

        Here’s an example of not knowing what’s promised to you. Once, I called my cell phone provider. They told me that a particular benefit was available to me and had been for quite a while. BUT, because I didn’t know about it, I didn’t or couldn’t take advantage of it. Take, for instance, this cell-phone benefit example; now apply it in knowing what God has for you in the Bible regarding your healing. It's the same principle.

        Let’s delve into a few of these promises that God says are already yours. This will also help you learn how to appropriate these benefits for your complete healing.

        One day the Lord spoke to me and said, “Kathy, I’m looking for someone to agree with me.” Immediately within me, I was ready to agree with God. I’ll ask you the same question, “Are you ready to agree with God?” He’s wanting...desiring and looking for you to agree with Him! Because God only has good things for you. Jeremiah 29:11, it says, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil to give you a wonderful future and a hope.” How can you have any hope if you don’t know that God has a wonderful future in store for you? This is one of the promises in your healed Promised Land.

        You might be thinking – If God only has good for me, then why do I have Cancer? This is one thing that needs to be addressed before anything else. God is not the author nor the One who initiates any disease. John 10:10 states that we have an enemy, the devil. The devil is the one who comes at our life (or tries) to kill, steal, and destroy us. 

        This fact is essential to understand. No one is excluded because every human being has an enemy (the devil) who hates them. Let’s look at the rest of this scripture in John 10. “But, Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly.”  We are to agree with God regarding this promise - it is He who wants us to agree with Him. When we are in Christ, it should be an abundant life in Him! And, this abundant life includes living in perfect health HERE on Earth.

         God’s Words (scriptures) are truth. Rest assured, God doesn’t lie because He can’t. It’s not in His nature to lie. In Matthew 24:35, it says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but God’s Words will never pass away.” His Word will never die; they are eternal. You could consider them to be “forever” Words. All of your promises are what God says. The Bible is the only reference you should use to begin agreeing with Him.

        Isaiah 55:11 says, “So is My Word that goes out from My mouth. It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” God’s Words are active, and they will accomplish the promised health. Then, God said in Psalm 107:20, “He (God) sent His Word and healed you,” from Cancer. Now, can you agree with God that His Words are sent to you at this very moment? AND He HAS already healed you? I know I can agree with God for that!

        Here’s a scripture that explains how God’s Word works. Jeremiah 23:29, NLT, “God says, Does not my Word burn like fire? Is it not like a mighty hammer that smashes a rock to pieces?” You could say it like this. “God’s Word is a mighty hammer that smashes cancer to pieces, and He eliminates it from my body. Once and for all.”

        God is relentless about wanting to heal you entirely - spirit, soul, and body. That means you are “every whit whole," John 7:23. "Every whit whole" means you are healed clear down to the cellular level. Isn't that what cancer's all about? 

       Walking in perfect health is part of your salvation. It's what God’s only Son, Jesus, bore on his back when the Roman soldiers laid down the stripes. Every drop of His blood was shed for the sins of all humankind. The cross, where he died, was what we needed, but His resurrection - now that's the power - the total completion of our victory! Yes, He died for our sins, but also for our healing and so we can prosper too. Because of Jesus' victory over death, we too can walk in that same victory. According to God, you are already healed.

        Hebrews 13:8 says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. This means what Jesus did over 2000 years ago for your health is still for you today and forever! Remember, God’s Words are “forever” Words. Please let this sink deep within; God says you are already healed today!

        Here’s another way to agree with God for receiving your Promised Land (healing). Agreeing with God happens when you speak out loud what God says about your situation. His Words in scripture are what God says about you. Please keep in mind that God's not a liar. By decreeing out loud, that's the way you renew your mind to receive it deep within your spirit. Continue speaking what God says about your health, and soon you'll find what God says in His Word, or the scriptures will come to pass in your life.

        Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.” If we speak positive, we have that fruit; if we talk negatively, we can have that outcome. This pretty much sounds like the balls in your court - it’s your choice. Positive Words or God’s Words become active as they are put into motion - a miracle. Negative words, even our inner thoughts, and feelings set in motion the enemy, which takes you further from a miracle.

        Proverbs 18:21 says the outcome or fruit you will achieve is from your own words, alone. In Job 22:28, this gives further instruction, “You shall also decree a thing, and it will be established unto you, and the light shall shine upon your ways.” Begin decreeing or speaking out loud into the atmosphere scriptures (God’s Words) of your healing!

        I also love the scripture in Ezekiel 37:4; it's about speaking or prophesying the Word too. “Speak a prophetic message to these bones, and say dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord.” (This is being in total agreement with God!). “This is what the Sovereign Lord says; Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again!” Now that’s the abundant life - of living a full life again!!!

         On another occasion, during prayer, the Lord spoke to me and said: “Speak into each problem what you want to happen.” What an opportunity to agree with God and watch Him move. And, there were no limits attached to this word. So, that meant in every circumstance of my life! Of course, the Lord knew that I would only speak according to what His Word says. I’m not saying I’ve been perfect at this. It is challenging at first, especially in the heat of a trial, but it's achievable.

        God kept encouraging me to work on this (only speaking what I want to happen), and I knew if I did it out of obedience, I would receive. You can do this too and obtain whatever you desire. God says that He gives us the desires of our hearts. God is not a respecter of person, meaning He won’t do it for one person and not the other. So, what He does for me, He'll do for you!

        When we agree with God, we activate our faith. Don’t be concerned that you don’t have enough faith; that’s just a trick of the enemy. If you are born again, the Spirit of the Living God dwells within you. Your faith activates Holy Spirit, and also how we agree with God!  It is the Spirit of God (Holy Spirit) working through our faith that heals us. Romans 8:11, “And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of His Spirit who lives in you.” Faith walks hand-in-hand with expectancy - you are expecting to be healed. On a side note, when you move in faith, you please God.

        Mark 11:23 is the next step to actively agreement with God. It says, “If anyone says to this mountain (cancer), go throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.” 

        Believing allows you to appropriate the Word. Or apply it to your health and life. Luke 8:50 says, “Don’t be afraid, only believe, and you will be well.” Only believe - no disbelief allowed! This relieves you of a lot of worry and stress when you know that you believe what God has already said about your health. He HAS already said that YOU are HEALED.

        Here’s the simultaneous sequence, agree with God, speak what He says, activate your faith in expectancy of complete health, and believe that the miracle is done. 

        All you have to say and believe is, "God, You said it, and I agree with you. You are the One who performs miracles." It's that simple. It’s not like you are trying to get God to agree with what you want. You don’t have to talk Him into healing you because God already wants this for you. He wants you healed and all cancers eradicated.

        Check out these words – quick, alive, powerful, sharper than the best sword ever. These words describe how powerful the Word of God is. Hebrews 4:12, “For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” The Word of God is the best weapon to use against cancer, and it's the only weapon that will win every time!

        I love this! Here’s a bonus – God's Holy Angels! Yes, Angels are on assignment for you right now or at least desire to be! Psalms 103:20 says, “Praise the Lord, you, His angels, you mighty ones who do His bidding, who obey His Word.” God's Holy Angels obey His Word. That means when you speak the Word of God (scriptures), which is also agreeing with God, Angels are activated to obey His Word. And perform them! So, all you have to do is ask the angels to be activated or dispatched on your behalf as you speak or decree God’s Words!!! As you do, you automatically have a Holy Air Force of Angels warring for you to bring God’s Word to pass in your life. I don’t know about you, but that is a HUGE bonus!

        Regularly, take your authority in Jesus’ Name. You have been given executor permission to use the most powerful Name on the Earth, below the Earth, and in the Heavens - the Name of JESUS! Jesus gives you a power of attorney to use His Name when you pray to Father. All (every bit) of power Jesus has already provided to you in His Name. In other words, you have the same power and authority that Jesus does.

        While on the cross, Jesus said in Matthew 26:53, “Do you think I cannot call on my Father and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” If Jesus can call on twelve armies of Angels - well, guess what? You can too! Yes, everything that’s available to Jesus, you also have access to.

        Here's a perfect scripture to decree out loud. Psalm 118:10-12 (NLT), “Though hostile cancer surrounds me, I destroyed it with the authority of the Lord, Yes, cancer surrounded and attacked me – But I destroyed it all with the authority of the Lord. It swarmed around me like bees, cancer blazed against me like a crackling fire, But I destroyed all cancer with the authority of the Lord.” (In this scripture, I exchanged the word enemy for cancer - which is the same thing.)

        God is looking for someone to agree with Him. Yes, of course, that someone is you! 

LET’S PRAY 

        Lord, this day, I determine to agree with You. I decree that I’m no longer hard on myself, but I give myself a break. I choose to work with You and allow You to work in my life. God, I give You permission and trust that You will move in my life. I agree with what You say in Your Word; I am healed of Cancer. Lord, place Your Word in my heart and let me meditate on it day and night. I speak Your Word and ask that Your Holy Angels are dispatched on my behalf as I do. I decree that I am rid of every cancerous cell - I am healed. I thank You, Lord, in advance, for answering my prayers. Amen.  

VICTORY SCRIPTURES

• For the Lord, your God, is the one who goes with you to fight against Cancer for you, and He gives you the victory. Deuteronomy 20:4
• Do not fear Cancer nor be dismayed because of this disease, for the battle is not yours but God’s. 2 Chronicles 20:15
• You have given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds me, and Your gentleness makes me great. Psalm 18:35
• Thanks be to God, who always leads me in triumph over Cancer in Christ and manifests through you the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. 2 Corinthians 2:14
• Some boast in chariots and some in horses, but I will boast in the name of the Lord, my God! Cancer has bowed down and fallen, but I have risen and stood upright. Psalm 20:7-8
• O give me help against Cancer, for I cannot deliver myself. Through God, I shall do valiantly, and it is God who will tread down Cancer for me. Psalm 60:11-12
• I am prepared for this battle of Cancer; it is God alone who brings me the victory over Cancer. Proverbs 21:31

If I Can Do This, You Can Too! (My Story)

        Here’s my story of how I challenged my Cancer diagnosis and won! I’m confident if I can do this, so can you! This testimony gives insight into how Cancer-Free Party began too.

        Mid-February, 2013, I woke up and went downstairs like any other morning. Only this time, as I reached the bottom, I collapsed to the floor. Not just to my knees but flat on my face. My head was spinning and I was unable to move. I tried my hardest to remain conscious. Thoughts were whirling of calling someone, anyone, but I’d left my phone upstairs. In a few seconds, that seemed like an hour, I regained enough strength to start crying out to Jesus. As I lie there motionless, the Lord moved, and I steadily gathered my composure.

        Later in the day, I called a good friend who happens to be a doctor. My thought was to meet her for coffee with the full intention of hearing what her diagnosis would be regarding my health. Not knowing my intentions, she agreed to meet the next day at our favorite place.

        I pulled up and met her in the parking lot, and before we entered the building, she noticed how pale and weak I was. She hurried me back to her car, where she spent the next hour trying to convince me to go to the emergency room. I spent that whole time trying to assure her that I was going to be alright at least overnight. She was so concerned I'd pass out while driving back home that she followed me. As I parked and got out of my vehicle, I slowly walked over to her car and once again let her know that I would be alright.

        The next day she squeezed me into her already busy schedule for a few tests. When I left her office, I felt a bit unsure about the outcome but was trying to be hopeful I could pray through this health issue. 

        Within the week, she called asking when she could come by to give me my results. Her countenance was solemn as she came in and sat down. “You have Cancer,” she said. It hit my mind like a death verdict, but I responded with a smile as if I had no worries. Inside me, I went into shock as the words penetrated my soul. Deep down, I already knew I had Cancer but was hoping I’d never have to deal with this horrid disease. I had been in pain for quite some time, not just a little twinge but a deep ache. Anyone who has had Cancer would understand this description. This kind of pain is just different than any other I’d ever dealt with before. At that point, I seemed to have gotten my head together enough to ask my Doctor/friend about how long she felt I had to make any serious decision. She very, very, very reluctantly said, “Six months, at the very most.” 

        As she left the house, two of my other friends were there trying to create some pseudo upbeat mood. So, they decided we should go to a restaurant. I guess the unspoken consensus was that eating was a way to stuff our emotions about the dreaded diagnosis. Stuffing this could never have been possible. Maybe, it was more in helping them cope with the news. For me, my feelings were being covered-up as the shock began numbing my emotions. 

        We got our jackets on and walked out into the frigid February night air. Everyone made small talk as we headed to some nearby burger joint to begin pushing down our anxiety and dread. In the car, I acted unaffected and smiled politely in the “light” atmosphere my friends were trying to exude. 
At the restaurant, life was continuing. I was there physically, but my mind was still reeling from the diagnosis bomb my doctor friend had just dropped on me. The restaurant’s 1960’s background music was blaring as my friends strategized how they were going to help me during my process. All the while, I sat there trying to swallow the dry unappetizing burger and with a blank expression looking at the mount of fries while trying to fight back the tears. I gave my food one last look, realizing I wasn’t hungry and pushed away from the basket. Thankfully, shock once again continued to keep my fears under the surface. 

        While sipping on my drink, I leaned back in my chair and watched the others as they finished. To me, everything sounded muffled and jumbled up. I could hear their voices, but due to my mind trying to process what was going to be happening in my life, I didn’t hear a word. 

        I like plans, and for the first time, I had no plan. Every time I tried to pull one together, confusion overwhelmed my thoughts again. I had so many questions that had very uncertain answers.
What was life going to be like for me? I’m alone, with no children and no spouse. My parents live three hours away. Could I go through Cancer alone? What am I to do with the church since I am the founder and currently their pastor? I know I have Jesus but who was going to physically be here to drive me when I need help? Who’s going to load the groceries when I’m too weak? Who’ll help keep me straighten out my thoughts when I have “chemo brain”? At that point, I honestly couldn’t figure out how I could fit Cancer into my busy schedule? I liked my life the way it was. I didn’t want Cancer hijacking my life with months or years of downtime!

        My questions soon turned into despair, and I was ready to leave the restaurant. I just wanted to go back home and be alone with all my thoughts. It took all I had not to scream out, “This isn’t fair.” I was so upset and felt like breaking down and bawling, right there. I wanted to. I truly did. Just as I started to get emotional, I thought, “Wait, you can’t because you’re their pastor. Kathy, aren’t you supposed to be superhuman, moving in the supernatural, at all times?” I manage to keep everything suppressed and put on my “game face,” at least for the rest of the ride home.


        From then on, I was relentless in my conversation with God. When I wasn’t begging Him, I was shaking my fist and asking, “Why, Why, Why? Why do I have Cancer?” God seemed so distant to me, and it was as if He didn’t see my situation at all. Silently, I continued crying out for His help. I needed a miracle so badly. With no answers from God, I somehow made an unconscious decision to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Or what I call, walking through life on autopilot. Amazingly, I went through the motions and kept telling myself to push forward, just like I always do. And I did.

        I was so determined to get God’s attention. In these regular conversations with God, they would go something like this. “No, this can’t be happening to me! I’m an ordained minister of the Most High God. I’ve been faithful to You. You have healed me so many times before and I know You can heal me of this too. Cancer is just a little bigger than the rest. It’s just the big “C” word. The word us Christians hate to speak about for fear we’ll get the disease. God, I know You’re stronger and more powerful than Cancer. You can heal me; I know You can! It’s Your promise to me – health!” I would then pause, and all I’d feel was my heart pounding with anxiety. It was as if my whole being was begging God for this one miracle. 

        I chose to do nothing medically at that time. I told everyone that I wanted to see how God would deal with this situation. Either, He was going to heal me miraculously or not. If I chose the conventional way, I was looking at surgery with hard treatments. Surely, God didn’t want me to go through all that kind of pain! Right, God? Each time I’d wait for assuring words, but instead, all I heard were crickets.

        It seemed that God was so silent. Or was He? Truthfully, He probably couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I don’t think I never stopped petitioning Him on why I was the best candidate to receive a miracle. I continually wondered how I was going to get God on board with my plan of a miracle? 
If truth be told, I didn’t want to hear what God had to say. This is what I did know. He wanted to take me by the hand and walk with me through this dark valley. God wanted to position me so I would triumph fearlessly over Cancer, once and for all. He wanted me to know that I could go through this because HE is with Me, HE is with Me, HE is with ME! Because I always triumph with God! I’d love to say that I was totally on board with God at this point, but I wasn’t. My heart did understand, but my mind wasn’t quite sure I could fully trust that God would walk with me through this shadowy valley. 


        My congregation was terrific to me during this time. Others, well not so much. They wondered as much as I did at what brought about this Cancer. I guess they thought it was due to some secret sin; surely, there had to be a sin if I had Cancer. Honestly, I was sinless and consecrated to the Lord Jesus Christ. When I reflect, I wonder what they would have thought if I had been in sin? Would it be death for sure? These are the times that show how valuable it is to extend mercy when people go through hard trials, and not to jump to any conclusions prematurely. Even if there had been the grossest of sin, it doesn’t mean death because of God’s Grace, and Mercy is available to all. 

        The question remained, “How did this Cancer enter into my life? In all actuality, God was doing something more significant than what met my eye. The issue of whether I was in sin or not was irrelevant. What everyone, including myself, hadn’t realized; I was an extremely broken person. All of these wounds were due to the many rejections throughout my lifetime. That’s how Cancer entered in. 

        It was through the cracked, shattered, itty-bitty pieces, which was called, me. Places no one could see, except God. I don’t think I could bear to look at all the fragments. If I did, I might not be able to handle the pain of it. There were way too many, and I had buried them far too deeply. It would take an experienced excavator to unearth all those buried hurts.   
    
        Even though I knew I’d make it through Cancer with God beside me, I just flat out didn’t want to go that route. I knew it would take me places that I didn’t think I was emotionally nor physically strong enough to go. Places I didn’t want to go. I felt like I already had the measure of faith, trust, love, etc., that I wished to have in Christ. But, God in His infinite wisdom, knew better. God knew that my Cancer journey was the vehicle that He would use to heal me. Not only of Cancer but the cracks and shattered, broken pieces. As I wrung my hands, thinking about going down this hard path, I still wasn’t convinced that I had it in me. And I didn’t. I needed God to carry me. 

        I most certainly knew this trial was way out of my league. Oh, how I needed a strength exchange. What I came to learn was I needed a deeper trust in my Lord. I had to know that no matter how I got through this, I could trust God. You see, before this trial, if you were to ask me if I thought I was a strong person, my answer would have been a firm yes. If need be, I could run in my strength through most of life’s challenges, all the while giving God the glory! Don’t get me wrong, I trusted God, but if I could get by on my own strength, I did.

        You see, Cancer was just the thing that humbled me to the point of realizing how much I had relied on that strength to get me through life. Oh, I prayed and sought God in everything, but when times would get tough, I could pretty much count on me and my strength. That’s what broken people do; they learn how to live in survival mode. What a wake-up call this trial proved to be. Cancer afforded me with the ultimate revelation of holding onto God like never before. 

        Could I trust God fully and let go of all control? Could I take God’s hand, lean on Him, and let Him carry me through this? This strong survivalist wasn’t entirely sure. So, I continued spending my days on auto-pilot constantly petitioning God for a miracle. “Lord, please remove this cup from me.” As I faced the inevitable surgery and treatments, fears grew immensely. Anxiety told me I couldn’t handle Cancer’s harshness. This dread drove me back to my measly efforts of trying to reason with God. 

        The phone rang. It was a trusted friend that I’d ministered with on several occasions. She told me about a healing meeting in Southeast Kansas. I was so excited because this recognized minister has consistent, documented miracles, many of which I’ve witnessed. After hearing this news, I was elated. I was blowing kisses to Heaven. This meeting was going to be my answer, my ticket to the miracle. Instantly, I put my faith into action to believe God for my miracle! O, happy day (breaking out into song)! I finally got through to God, and He has brought the answer! No surgery, no chemotherapy, no radiation treatments, and no side-effects for me! Wooo Hooo!


        After a four hour drive, which seemed like six, I arrived at the meeting during the praise and worship portion. I waved and smiled at people I knew to let them know I made it there alright. There was an excitement in the air. Everyone was on the same page, knowing that this was my night for a miracle! The Evangelist started calling people to the front for prayer. I could barely contain myself as my faith skyrocketed! My heart was beating so fast with anticipation of my miracle. With each step towards the front, I thanked God for answering me. I was confident I’d walk out of this meeting entirely healed with no more pain or tiredness. I’m next in line! It’s my turn! Yea God!

        I explained my diagnosis, and he commenced praying. God truly touched me that night, and I felt Him! I skipped out of the meeting with the Evangelist’s last words echoing in my mind. “You are healed, DO NOT FEAR.” It was just that night that those words would be highlighted. I’d continue to hear “Do not fear” within my mind and spirit over the next several months. 
    
        I was enormously encouraged as significant changes were going on within my body. It wasn’t the complete miracle I’d hoped for, but I did receive a portion of my healing. Confidently, I knew God was going to fulfill this miracle, supernaturally. You know, without surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. Just “DO NOT FEAR”!

        Over the next months, guess what I had to do? You guessed it; I had to fight fear. Four months went by, then five and six. Here I am at the six-month deadline that my Doctor gave me. I knew I wasn’t ready to give up and walk through the valley of the dreaded Giant, Cancer, either. So, I forged on past the six-month expiration date while fighting fear every step of the way. 

        Everywhere I went, I kept hearing of more and more people dying from Cancer. With each report, fear would overwhelm me. My mind vacillated back and forth; in faith, one minute and fighting fear the next. Often I was walloped with such trepidation that I felt I’d never regain faith. That was when the silent screams of, “Help me, God,” would start up all over again. During this constant battle, I mastered a calm and collected look. I smiled when I felt like falling apart. My mask always portrayed that everything was perfect in my life. Only God knew the war that waged within me. 

        Amid this emotional and physical upheaval, an amazing thing happened. The Lord gave me downloads in my mind’s eye of paintings with corresponding scriptures. They are what I call “creative affirmations” of His faithfulness to me. One day, I decided to paint my interpretation of what my mind had seen. 

        The first one was a beautiful wing with the scripture, Ruth 2:12. Under whose wings I’ve come to trust. I was in dire need of putting my trust in the Lord, and this scripture set my focus on Him. The next download was a song I received while driving my car. I pulled over and recorded it on my phone. Then other visions began pouring over me. These affirmations from God proved to be a roadmap of sorts that provided me with such beneficial support for my Cancer journey.

        Then, sometime around the latter part of July, I started noticing changes in my body that weren’t so positive. In fact, they were very negative. These changes spurred me on all the more to defeat Cancer and all its fears! By this time, you could say I was a veteran at pulling down those fearful thoughts. I’d had quite a few months of practice and was feeling pretty accomplished. I stayed determined not to let Cancer take over, no matter how I felt.

        Finally, one day I’d had enough, and I couldn’t push forward any longer. I prayed a very simple prayer. “Lord, please intervene before it’s too late.” Indeed, the Lord intervened and answered this small, elementary prayer. The very next morning, there was a significant shift in my body that made everything worse. What I didn’t know at the time was the tumor had grown so large that it started to shut down specific functions in my body. When the tumor shifted, it caused the pain to be so excruciating that it forced me to make a decision. 

        This turn of events expedited the surgery, and then the dreaded treatment. My auto-pilot was shut down. The mask was off, and I had no more smiles. I had no more silent screams, and I was no longer vacillating. I had no more natural strength. I was way too tired to fight in this insufficient survival mode. 

        I was in Denver ministering at the time. I took the redeye back to Kansas City in so much pain I could barely sit through the hour and a half long flight. This flight was the only one I’ve ever taken where they bumped me up to first-class with no added charges. It was a sign that God was with me and taking control of my life. Upon landing, I headed to the hospital emergency room and was admitted for a week's worth of extensive tests. Due to the nine-month wait, the doctors were sure it had metastasized elsewhere. Miraculously, it hadn't. Yes, I did receive a miracle. It just didn't happen the way I thought nor to the extent I'd hoped. But, God kept me, in which I'm very grateful. 
My parents already knew I dreaded this whole situation and that I was teetering about committing to treatments. They were concerned and yet supportive, having just gone through Cancer with my Dad a few years earlier. 

        My Mom has always had a very stable calmness about her, never loud or demanding. She seems to have this loving way of steering you to a decision that she feels is best, all the while letting you think that it was your idea all along. So, when I say that Mom grabbed hold of me, what I'm saying is that she calmly looked me in the eye and grabbed hold of my thoughts. It was her life-changing comment that was a turning point in my battle. This statement is what I want you to grasp because it's the inspiration behind my business, Cancer-Free Party. She calmly said, "Kathy, you're going to take the treatment, and we're going to start planning your Cancer-Free Party now." 

        This comment, "start planning your Cancer-Free Party, now," what Mom did was she put my mind in a victory stance. She positioned me in triumph over Cancer. Right then, I was placed in my Cancer-Free future! She was saying, "God's with you. Kathy, you're already Cancer-Free...at this very moment! You're going to make it through this, and you're going to beat cancer once and for all." 
She also said without saying, "No matter what the Doctors say, no matter the reports, no matter the fears you have or other people's concerns about your situation, no matter how hard the treatment is...YOU ARE CANCER-FREE! NOW! Girl, set your mind on your celebration, and don't look back!" 

        Mom wasn't waiting for when the medical field declared me Cancer-Free to start planning my Cancer-Free Party. She had me start planning it before my first treatment began. By putting my mind on the party planning, it further helped to establish a mindset of beating Cancer! This shift of focus with party planning abolished all fears. It brought total victory in my thought life, which in turn help complete the healing process in my body! 

        My surgery was around Thanksgiving of that year. I made it through, but two weeks later, complications sent me back into the hospital for another long week. Then, finally, I was dismissed on Christmas Eve! Oh, what a year.

        Then, it was chemotherapy for the New Year. Yea, me.

        During treatments, one of the main things I made sure to do was spend time dreaming about my two Cancer-Free Parties. Yes, you read that right, two! I planned and enjoyed both of them! As Joyce Meyers always says, “Double for my trouble” (based on Isaiah 61:7.) 
        
        As treatment progressed, Mom would ask me to update her on my party planning. Anyone who knows Mom knows she loves to cook, so she was particularly interested when it came to the menu I choose. We spent an ample amount of time talking about my favs, fajitas, and jalapeno poppers. Party planning proved to help set my focus on something fun and uplifting rather than walking through the nightmare of the valley. 

        I continued through my trial, and the unheard-of happened. My trust in God arose. I truly knew I was in God’s hands and no longer battled fear. God didn’t promise me that it would be easy. The promise was that God was going to be with me on this journey. And, He indeed was. God was the fourth man in that fiery furnace of surgery, treatment, setbacks, and side-effects. God didn’t just stop there! He healed my emotional brokenness that was the cause for this trial anyways. I was made whole.  

        Finally, the day I’d been waiting for was here! Wooo Hooo! Fifteen months after my initial diagnosis I was declared Cancer-Free! I do know everyone has a different story of surviving Cancer. We’re all unique; no two stories are alike. 

        On this side of Cancer, I’m very grateful for everything I learned from this experience. I know I now possess valuable techniques to help anyone become and stay Cancer-free! And, I know how to get you out of the valley of the shadow of death. And, how to place you back into the abundant life again. You know, the one that God promises in His Word - especially for you! He’s giving me tools to identify where and how Cancer enters one’s life. I also understand the importance and how needful the creative affirmations God gave me genuinely are. And, they are proven. 

        Bonus! So, here’s your takeaway! If I can walk this walk and get through Cancer victoriously, so can YOU! No matter the obstacles, setbacks, or stage you’re in, you can do it because of God! He, too, wants to walk beside you through your journey. 

        I would love to help navigate you through your healing process. Let’s get those broken places healed and whole, so Cancer stays gone! And, help reset your focus. As the old saying goes, “if you change your mind (focus,) you can change every aspect of your life.” 

        It’s time to stop surviving and thrive again!

        If you’d love to be a part of the Cancer-Free Party movement, go to our Facebook page and message us to submit your name for our expert prayer group to pray for you. Then, go to our YouTube page and check out the free classes that accompany the books I’ve written. Oh, and order a copy of my books on Amazon. A list of titles will be at the end of this. 

        Never forget, you’re a giant killer. So, come on and challenge the odds, reset your focus, and celebrate a healthy, vibrant life by planning your Cancer-Free Party Now!  

Let Me Pray For YOU!

        Father, I thank you for my Cancer-Free friend. Help reset their focus on an incredibly healthy future that is filled to the brim with life. A life that is designed to be and stay Cancer-Free. Help this precious one place their emphasis on celebrating the victory over Cancer, NOW. I thank You, Father, for this valuable tool of party planning that positions them to receive life! Father, I also ask for You to give them a deeper relationship with You, one greater than ever before. As they walk through this valley in Your loving arms, provide them with new hope, steadfast courage, and above all - perfect health. I agree with You, Father, right now that this one is Cancer-Free and will stay that way! And I celebrate with them in their triumph! In Jesus’ name, I ask Amen. 

List of Books on Amazon

My Ah-maz-ing Cancer-Free Party Planner - https://www.amazon.com/My-Ah-maz-ing-Cancer-Free-Party-Planner-ebook/dp/B0855KFKFK/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=My+Ah-maz-ing+Cancer-Free+Party+Planner+Kathy+A.+Crofford&qid=1589483675&sr=8-1

My Ah-maz-ing Cancerversary Party Planner
Color Your World: Cancer Warrior Coloring Book
Journaling My Cancer-Free Journey
31-Day Joy Challenge - How to Ditch Rejection - Devotional

More Books Coming Soon

Cancer-Free! Challenge the Odds by Fighting Spiritually - Caleb's Story
From Surviving to Thriving - Discover What's Delayed Your Destiny

My Cancer-Free Dream Journal