Hope - MIA

I had been crushed so badly that I had lost all hope; it was gone. Does this sound familiar? You might wonder how this depletion happened. I really can’t give you an exact day. It was more like it slipped away little-by-little. With each loss from the many rejections I endured throughout the years, it faded away. Sadly, this repetition of rejections was the only consistent thing in my life.

I didn't realize that hope was so important to possess. Looking at it from a Biblical point of view, everyone needs hope - we have to have it. If we don’t, we aren’t able to get into faith. Without faith, it’s tough to receive anything from God, period. While distraught, knowing I needed to get it back, I set out on a quest to find hope again. So, where do you find hope? Hum... scratching my head while I stumbled around the house wondering where I had left my hope; like it was misplaced car keys.

Apparently, at that time, my hope wasn’t placed in the Lord. And that was precisely the only place it should have been. It seemed there was still a place within me that I thought God wasn’t with me. I think this was due to the continuance of the rejections. Because surely, if He would have been with me, they would have stopped. As you can see, my thought process wasn't right. I hadn’t separated that people will always let me down, but God never will. Once I recognize the difference between the two everything started shifting for the better.

Out of my frustration of trying to figure out how to get hope back, I headed to the mall. Shopping, of course! Isn’t that what everyone does to try to escape weighty subjects such as hopelessness? A little retail therapy of mindless shopping always helps my emotions - not the pocketbook so much though. I would love to say that finding hope is as quick as picking out a new pair of shoes. It's usually not, until this time. During this shopping excursion, God met me.

I walked into my favorite department store with not a thought of looking for hope. All of a sudden, my eye spotted this shirt, and it was on clearance! You’re not going to believe this, but on the front of it in great big letters, it said HOPE! It was the last one, in my favorite color. And, Glory to God, in my size too! Without a doubt, God was giving me a nudge. He might as well have said, “Girl, you need to place your hope in Me because I’m doing a thing in your life - I'm healing you right NOW!” HOPE was mine! I grabbed it up and headed to the checkout line.

I love this shirt. What it gave me was a visual affirmation of God moving in my life. After I got home, I hung it in a perfect spot where I could see it. Each time I walked by I focused on it and began thanking God for resurrecting hope within me. As I meditated on having my hope in the Lord, God began cultivating life and I found myself dreaming once more. Hope was beginning to grow.

For me, dashed hope had happened from delays that continued to come. Proverbs 13:12 ESV says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” The good news is - Jesus is the tree of life! He’s the only One that heals the sickness of the heart. If you've ever had deferred hope all you have to do is ask Him to heal you. I'm here to tell you that He will answer and fill your heart with renewed hope. This hope is life!

A few years later, my Mom passed away. My hope was tested since her passing was unexpected. Once more I felt all alone. On the night of her passing as I went to bed, I heard the Lord tell me to anchor my hope in Him. It is easy to unknowingly place hope in family members, friends, pets, jobs, material items, organizations, you name it. Mom had become my support while going through cancer and at this point, I couldn't imagine life without her. I prayed and put my hope back in the Lord. Once I made that shift, hopelessness left.